The Midlife Remix: From Invisible To Invincible
From Feeling Overlooked to Owning Your Power and Influence
When Sia released her album This is Acting in 2016, I was waist-deep into midlife. I loved that album and the way Sia belted out her lyrics—especially the song, Unstoppable. That song became a mantra for me. It reminded me that even though I was in the throws of perimenopause, I wasn’t becoming invisible; I was proving to be invincible—powerful, confident, and unstoppable.
Every weekday morning, I would belt out Unstoppable in my car during my commute to work into Silicon Valley where I work among mostly much younger people. I needed to bring that unstoppable energy to work to thrive in the environment as an older woman. And I did—I thrived. For 15 years I worked in the tech industry in either account management or customer success before transitioning full-time into a career in coaching.
During this pivotal menopausal phase in my life, I was working in a company where I was responsible for retaining millions of dollars in recurring revenue, managing strategic accounts of some of the biggest and well-known media companies. I was a top performer. Still, despite my success, I often felt dampened, not celebrated—for reasons that were layered. While I was paid handsomely for my performance, it was not the same as being seen for the unique blend of ‘Badass’ I actually was (and still am!), and that I brought to the table.
But every morning it was Sia who reminded me that I was Unstoppable, and invincible. Reminiscing now about that time period in my life I’m remembering what a great and timely album that was for me—pumping me up for a long commute to work—but I don’t miss the traffic!
The Disappearing Act Rears It’s Ugly Head
Fabulous ones, when that birthday rolled around and you blew out those 50 candles did you feel like it was the beginning of the end, that you began to disappear a little everyday? (Poof!) The disappearing act can be really subtle and unrecognizable at first.
For me, despite consistently delivering a strong performance and years of accumulated institutional knowledge, I watched as promotions went to younger, less-experienced colleagues. I was over 50—although I looked 40-something. But in tech, even 40-something can feel too old. My “managers” became younger and younger. I was often told I was "dependable" and "steady", which was coded language for being older than everyone else. It didn’t feel like praise for a job well done, rather, it felt like a pat on the back.
During team meetings or brainstorming sessions, I would find my ideas were not acknowledged or were overlooked, only to hear the same suggestion praised when a younger coworker repeated it. My insights and voice seemed to become background noise, even when I knew I was giving ‘main character energy’. There was a subtle age bias at play, a common phenomenon in the tech industry. I concluded that people consciously or unconsciously assume that since I was older, that I was incapable of innovation. Or perhaps they assumed I couldn’t “leap tall buildings in a single bound.” But I was capable, and I did alot of “leaping” above and beyond what was expected of me. That, is what led to my success, in spite of any mistaken perceptions about me.
My contributions were appreciated, yes, but I felt as if my age, along with other societal factors, subtly disqualified me from being considered for growth—even though I was more qualified than many others. I started to feel sidelined, like a placeholder instead of the changemaker I knew myself to be.
Now in hindsight, that was such a miscalculation on their part. It was a poor business decision to overlook me—because I was an outstanding individual contributor to the bottom line. I would have taught, trained, and led my younger coworkers to become stellar performers by sharing my industry knowledge and experience. Perhaps I would have outshined others who were actually responsible for leading and so I was figuratively benched.
Maturity and experience, coupled with a strategic mission are ingredients of great leaders. But not all managers are leaders. It became clear that it was time for me to leave the tech industry. Since I had been planning a transition to health coaching as a full-time second career anyway, I pulled the trigger and left the tech industry after my company was sold and I completed my employment contract with it’s buyer. The 2020 Pandemic and massive layoffs in the tech industry were beginning to unfold so I decided to leave the tech industry for good.
Does My Story Sound Familar?
These kinds of experiences don’t just lead to professional frustration—they can impact a woman’s sense of self-worth, confidence, and vitality, especially during midlife. I knew I was never invisible—but I may have been too seen, overshadowing others. Who knows.
Being made to feel invisible doesn’t just happen in the workplace. It happens in all areas of life for a woman in her 50s. One of my coaching clients, Michele (52) who is very attractive, half-joked that she could walk into a bank in broad daylight and not turn a single head. Between unpredictable hot flashes and a household that treated her like furniture (her words), she felt faded—her confidence slipping through the cracks of everyone else's priorities.
If this resonates, take a deep breath and hear this clearly:
You’re not becoming invisible—you are becoming invincible.
Midlife isn’t a downhill slide into obscurity. It’s a launchpad. Let’s flip the script on that tired narrative that women aged 45–65 "fade into the background." Midlife is the time to reclaim your voice, set fierce boundaries, and step into your power—with unapologetic confidence.
The Myth of Fading Away (and Why It’s Total BS)
We live in a society obsessed with youth—one that idolizes dewy faces and subtly pushes women into the shadows as they age. The "Invisible Woman Syndrome" is real and pervasive. One survey found that by age 51, most women feel overlooked, with fewer than 15% reporting high confidence in any area of life. Nearly half felt misunderstood and unseen by society.
But if you saw my Instagram feed, you'd see a different story: women over 50 living their best lives, posting photos of themselves with power and joy, seemingly unfettered by this syndrome. Has my instagram algorithm created an aspirational but delusional feed for me? Possibly. But there is indeed a pro-aging movement happening—at least online. But those messages don’t always reach the real world. The focus is still on much younger women. Surprised? Of course not. I remember the attention I attracted and received when I was younger. I also remember the moment that attention shifted away from me to someone younger.
Industries like beauty, fashion, entertainment, and tech perpetuate youth-centric messages. Ads rarely feature women over 40. Hollywood often sidelined women once they hit that age. Actress Julia Duffy famously called out the industry for pigeonholing older women. Thankfully, in recent years, more authentic stories about midlife women have emerged, and ads featuring older women are starting to appear more often. We just need more of that.
Those "compliments" like, "You look great for your age." Not compliments. They’re subtle reminders that society undervalues our relevance. And when job listings say they want someone "energetic", that’s often code for "young."
Forget the outdated noise. If they overlook you, it's only because they don't yet realize what they're missing—they don’t actually see you.
Midlife Is Your Power Phase
You’re not fading, you’re blooming. It’s your second Spring. You’ve gathered a lifetime of experience. You’ve weathered storms, navigated office politics, raised families, faced loss, and celebrated triumphs. You are resilient and wise.
There’s a new energy that comes in your 40s, 50s, and in your 60s. It’s the IDGAF freedom of not pleasing everyone and finally speaking your truth. A recent AARP survey found that 80% of women aged 45+ believe midlife is the perfect time to reinvent their lives. Nearly 70% consider career changes or passion projects. A full quarter of U.S. entrepreneurs are women aged 45–64.
Shrinking? Hardly. You’re expanding.
From Surviving to Thriving in Menopause
Let’s talk about menopause—the dragon in the room. Yes, hot flashes, mood swings, and brain fog can knock you down. I remember a specific incident while still working in tech. I was leading a meeting with a strategic customer, and mid-sentence I couldn’t utter a word that felt trapped in my brain. It was brain fog. I was assisted by a colleague, a man nearly my age, who finished my line of thinking. I was silently mortified, not sure if I had played it off successfully. Menopause had made it’s appearance at work. It was just an instant but it felt like an eternity. I picked up where I left off and kept going.
Menopause is a transformation, and often feels destabilizing, but anthropologist Margaret Mead once said, "There is no greater power in the world than the zest of a postmenopausal woman." Many women emerge from menopause with renewed energy and freedom.
Take Linda, a tech exec who thought menopause would derail her career. Once she saw it as metamorphosis, not loss, she stopped hiding symptoms and asked for what she needed—like a fan in the conference room. Her vulnerability became leadership. Her honesty empowered others.
Yes, menopause can feel like trial by fire. But fire forges steel.
The Economic Power of Midlife Women—Companies, Pay Attention!
Women aged 45 to 65 control 85% of consumer purchases, over 80% of travel decisions and most household spending decisions. Yet brands still overlook this demographic. Midlife women are consumers, decision-makers, and changemakers. We deserve more than token representation. It’s time to rewrite the narrative around aging—and the smartest place to start is with your marketing and product strategy.
Women between the ages of 45 and 65 are a powerhouse demographic. They are not only navigating one of life’s most dynamic and transformative chapters, they are also controlling the lion’s share of consumer spending. And yet, this audience is chronically overlooked by mainstream brands. Media continues to idolize youth. Ad campaigns target Millennials and Gen Z. Wellness, fashion, tech, and lifestyle industries still treat women over 50 as either invisible, irrelevant, or stuck in stereotypes of decline.
This is not just tone-deaf—it’s a multi-billion dollar blind spot.
Midlife women are not just consumers—they’re cultural architects. Today’s midlife woman is launching second (or third) careers, starting businesses, investing in health and longevity, exploring travel, education, and creativity, redefining what it means to age with agency.
She is vibrant, discerning, values-driven—and she's spending intentionally. Yet, despite her influence and spending power, she is still being spoken at (not with), ignored in design and innovation decisions, and reduced to outdated tropes in advertising.
Real-Life Reinvention: From “Who Am I?” to “Here I Am!”
Let me tell you about Britney. When she first came to me, she spoke in a voice just barely above a whisper—especially when it came to her ideas. She had spent years doing all the right things for everyone else: her kids, her partner, her coworkers, her aging parents. She was the glue in everyone’s lives—but she couldn’t remember the last time she felt seen, heard, or even centered in her own.
She came to me not with a list of goals, but with a quiet ache—"I don’t know who I am anymore."
What followed wasn’t some Pinterest-worthy overnight transformation. It was the slow, intentional process of remembering herself. It started with curiosity. Then boundaries. Then a single art class that reignited something deep inside her—a spark, a shimmer. She began to say "no" to things that drained her and "yes" to things that lit her up.
And here’s what I know for sure. Every “no” she said to others became a louder, clearer “yes” to herself.
Today? Britney’s not whispering anymore. She’s leading meetings and presenting her ideas with clarity and power. She’s creating again. She’s laughing louder, dressing brighter, dreaming bigger. Her joy is visible. Palpable. Magnetic.
She told me recently, “I feel like people need sunglasses just to be in my presence now.” And you know what I said?
"Yes, Britney—I see you."
That’s what midlife reinvention looks like. It’s not about becoming someone new—it’s about becoming undeniably you.
How to Reclaim Your Voice, Boundaries, and Power
In the vibrant tapestry of life, especially as we navigate the complex currents of midlife, many women find themselves pondering about lost opportunities and diminishing personal power. Whether it's years of prioritizing others' needs over our own or slowly quieting our voices to avoid confrontation, the journey to reclaiming our intrinsic power is both vital and uplifting. It's about more than just making up for lost time; it’s about redefining our presence in the world around us.
1. Reclaim Your Voice
Your voice is your identity in words. It's how you express your desires, set your limits, and impact the world. Yet, so many of us have let our voices grow faint in areas where they once rang strong. Reclaiming your voice means more than speaking louder; it involves using it consistently, whether you're advocating for yourself at work, expressing your needs at home, or simply deciding where to eat out. Each act of speech reinforces who you are and what you stand for, and it's time to make your verbal presence felt across all aspects of your life.
2. Set Boundaries Like a Boss
Boundaries are not just a form of saying no, they are the ultimate expression of self-respect and self-care. They allow you to honor your needs and emotions without apology. Setting boundaries like a boss means assessing what you truly value and protecting your time and energy accordingly. It means learning to say "no" without an ounce of guilt, understanding that every 'no' to something less important is a 'yes' to something that truly matters. It’s about safeguarding your space and peace, which are paramount for your well-being.
3. Step Into Your Power
Power is often seen as a position, but in truth, it's a state of being. Stepping into your power is an act of embracing your capabilities and acting on them. It's about pursuing the promotion you deserve, starting a new venture, or booking a solo journey to a place you've always wanted to explore. It's about being visible and present in your life’s narrative, not shying away from the spotlight but actively seeking it in arenas that matter most to you.
This reawakening to your voice, boundaries, and power isn't just a path to personal growth—it's a revolution of your entire being. As you embark on this journey, remember that each step taken is a declaration of your worth and a commitment to your future self. Let's dive deeper into these transformative practices and explore how you can integrate them into your daily life, creating a world where you live unabashedly and on your own terms.
Unleash Your Whole Self
Midlife isn’t a swan song. It’s a remix with a stronger beat. Say it with me: “I am not invisible. I am becoming invincible.” Belt it out like Sia if you need to feel it in your bones. Now is the time to live out loud. To be the bold presence in the room. To take up space unapologetically. You are unstoppable at midlife, at anything.
You’re not shrinking to fit someone else’s narrative. You’re expanding into the woman you were always meant to become—fully expressed, fully seen, fully you. You’ve earned your voice, your wisdom, your boundaries, your brilliance.
So let them watch. Let them adjust their sunglasses if they must. You were never fading. You were just getting ready to shine. And you’re still fabulous.
Step Into Your Spotlight?
If something stirred in you while reading this—if you recognized yourself in the stories of invisibility, and felt a spark of invincibility rising—then this is your invitation to book an Introductory Call with me.
This isn’t just a coaching session—it’s a sacred space to remember who you are, reclaim what you want, and reimagine what’s possible. The Rediscovery Session is a one-on-one, transformative experience designed specifically for women in midlife who are ready to stop shrinking and start shining. It’s where we untangle what’s been dimming your light and chart the path back to your joy, power, and purpose.
Together, we’ll:
Explore who you are becoming in this next season of life
Uncover what truly brings you fulfillment, creativity, and connection
Reframe the challenges of menopause into catalysts for growth
Craft a personalized next-step plan that aligns with your most authentic self
Whether you’re navigating a career pivot, feeling emotionally stretched, or just craving clarity—you don’t have to do this alone. You deserve a guide, a witness, and a roadmap. Midlife is not the end of your story. It’s the beginning of your most radiant chapter yet.
Take the first bold step toward living fully, freely, and unapologetically.
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